2. Attempt to attend a whole week of freshers events rather than just going 'oh this club looks good, lets go here'. FRESHERS EVENTS: they only happen once every year.

3. Don't JUST sign up for the bloody societies and clubs - GO TO THEM. The cheerleading team will never be enough. Actually GO to things other than the ski socials and don't pussy out.

4. Everyone repeat after Bex; 'YOUR FLAT IS NOT AN ISLAND, YOU CAN MIX.' First day, get to know your flatmates. First night, go out & get to know others. Second night, pop a piece of paper under every flat in your block's door announcing a flat party. Your flat will inevitably get trashed, flat party or not. Your deposit will NEVER return intact (seriously. I was there for two months and we lost 60 quid from it - we were a sensible flat) You might as well go hard.

5. Introduce yourself to everyone & try your hardest to remember names & exchange phone numbers. You never know when your flatmates or classmates will turn into bitches. No one is gonna find you weird if you drop them a text and say 'hey, where you off to tonight? mind if i join? my lot aren't out!'

6. Take up a new sport. It's uni. Why not. No one knew who you were or what you did beforehand. Those people who would have sneered had you joined the netball society? Yeah, this is uni. No one cares. In fact, they seem to bum beginners more than they bum old hands...

7. Join something weird. Something that you go 'huh? what on earth is that?' I mean, why not. Seriously. Bex (justtink) joined the 'Hide & Seek society'. I mean, seriously. Who wouldn't want to play hide and seek or get drunk, or get drunk playing hide and seek. End of.

8. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT get a house ANY earlier than April. Relax, woosa, avoid the pressure and DON'T just jump into buying the first house you see. It's A) not worth it B) probably more expensive than you'll end up paying later & C) a nightmare if you fall out with people or find better friends.

9. Be sociable. Yes, you have work to do, yes you probably want to nap loads now (this is a scientific phenomena associated with uni that no one has found an explanation for yet) BUT this is about the only time in your life you will be surrounded by so many other crazy, hooligan 18-25 year olds so you might as well make the most of their company. Even if you are just lying on the tiny sofa the nice people who own your halls have given you moaning about how little you want to go to the next lecture.

10. actually do your work before 3am the night before the deadline. it will do alot for your blood pressure and your mental health. and probably do a bit for your grades aswell. and it leaves you free to go out on the piss and jeer at your fellow coursepeople while they slave away till stupid a clock in the morning. like.. actually do it when you're set it and not two months later when you have a measly 5 hours left. it will be easier if you sit down and do at least a little bit a day. same applies for revision.. <--- AMEN TO THAT.

11. look at first, second and third year module choices and limiting factors before you go. then you wont be so skrewed when they suddenly tell you to pick all your options within an hour when you have no idea what they are. this means you'll be able to study shiz that's a) relevant b) useful c) timetable appropriate and d) actually interesting instead of getting fucked over by having to learn about things you couldn't give a flying monkeys about. --- VERY important if you're sure OR unsure of where you're taking this very expensive degree you're getting.

12. don't be afraid to actually just say what you think, don't go all out guns blazing biatch, but don't change who you are. Uni is a new start to let you be who you are, legit. no past judgements, no history, you can leave that at home. these new people don't need to know anything you don't want to tell them. --- also translates into, feel free to go and reinvent yourself. don't like your hair? dye it & delete all previous evidence (Facebook photos) Don't like your face? Make it up like a whore. Don't like your dress sense? Dress up like a granny. Don't like your nickname? Invent one and give it to your uni friends. 

13. VISIT THE UNI BAR. Sneer at it's tackiness all you like. This place will inevitably, unless you're very unlucky and choose a shit, shit uni, be the bomb. For real. The insanely cheap drinks, bar food, random fairs, random people doing surveys harassing you and matches on tv? Well. It's worth the 3/9 grand a year you're paying even if nothing else is.